Money between family members is rarely about the money — it’s about the expectations around it. Was it a loan or a gift? When does it need to come back? A short written agreement answers those questions once, kindly, so they don’t resurface at the worst moment.
Make the unspoken explicit
- Loan or gift? The single most important line. Say which.
- Amount and repayment — when, and how.
- Interest — almost always none within a family; write that down.
- What if money’s tight? A built-in "we’ll talk and adjust" beats an awkward default.
The goal isn’t to make family feel like a bank. It’s to make sure everyone remembers the same thing a year from now.
Keep it warm
Describe it in your own words, review it together, and both sign. The tone stays human — it’s a clear record you both agreed to, not a demand letter.